i almost got that magic back...
almost..

then shit happened and i felt myself slipping downward again...

so not happy but i have to keep up this smiling facade because so many people around me are so ignorant,selfish, self-centered bastards that consistently tell me to take others into consideration (i.e. suck it up and make THEM feel better) yet they lack the ability to see past their own crooked noses...

i guess i'm bitching and complaining...being a little to emo....
but this is the only place i can let it out without fear of retribution.
without fear of being made to feel low for feeling low.

too sad to cry
too angry to hate..

i can't even begin to channel it into a creative medium so i can at least bullshit myself into thinking something positive can come out of it.
i'm too heavily medicated to see straight...yet i'm expected to push harder,faster than anyone else...

those who i expected to be there for me aren't...those i hoped would understand just seem to not care enough to try...

well...i'm out of steam so i guess that's it...
don't pass judgement on me...i just needed to get some of it off my chest...

back to feeling lonely
back to not being able to see straight
back to that little dark hole..

i hope you're doing better than i am.